Size matters dating dating scene detroit

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“I actually met my boyfriend through ‘Size Matters’ three years ago, and we moved to Austin together,” says Soletti.

“We all have our dating deal-breakers — whether it’s not wanting to have children or you have certain religious preferences — so this is a formula for success, because you know what you’re getting.” Hagans, who’s hit the “Size Matters,” “Beauty & the Geek” and “Childproof” nights, now swears by speed-dating parties.

“My friends are joking with me to wear a really cleavage-y shirt,” laughs Brandenburg, “because that’s all that guys are looking at.” MEET YOUR MATCH Paper Bag Speed Dating, Wednesday, 7-10 p.m.; .

First off, I’m not talking about basketballs or footballs here. Some people may have wondered if the size of a dude’s balls has any relevance to anything other than, well, sexual performance. Orangutans, on the other hand, though they’re quite enormous creatures, have tiny balls relative to the size of their enormous body. Those small balls translate to monogamy, making them great lovers and parents. We also have the widest range of paternal investment of any primate.

The gents are measured at the door to ensure they stand at least 6-foot-1.

Other mixers include “Rescue Me” to find firemen, and “Childproof” for partners who’d prefer to avoid the parent trap.

But participants had such a blast hooking up at Loveflutter’s anti-Tinder party that the hosts are bringing it across the pond, beginning with NYC — and not a minute too soon, say singles.

“Dating here is definitely more complicated than anywhere else,” says Alida Brandenburg, 30, who moved to Williamsburg from San Francisco a year ago.

“What’s really common in New York is this accepted culture of disappearing on people,” she gripes. “In person, there would be no chemistry,” she says.

“What’s hard about meeting people in New York is that people aren’t moving here to settle down.

People are here to work on their careers or to have as much fun as possible,” she says.

In fact, as far as I know, the size of the scrotum has little to do with sexual performance or even fertility. Bottom line: bigger balls (more testosterone) mean more promiscuity. Humans tend to fall in the middle of the spectrum when it comes to ball size. Some men’s contribution to fatherhood is little more than one teaspoon of sperm, while others are carpool-driving, baseball-coaching, baby-wearing dads.

But ball size is a giant indicator for anthropologists about the sexual behaviors of a particular primate species. Ball size, relative to body weight, can help researchers determine how much monogamy or promiscuity exists in a species, though not an individual (sigh). Anthropologists like to say that we have a system of “perceived monogamy.” That means we have a wide range of sexualities. And there’s everything in between, dads who just send the yearly birthday card, the ones who see their children weekly, the ones who inconsistently attend their kids’ soccer game.

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